Fine. I'll sleep in my office
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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