Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
