how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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