good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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