I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
handjob tips. give me some.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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