Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
