Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
