...so i touched it.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize