i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
