Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
