spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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