Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
