Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
