One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
