giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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