So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize