I'm eating all of the evidence.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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