brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
