I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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