I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
