do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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