i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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