saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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