I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
