There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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