just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
