Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
