Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
