D3 body, D1 cock
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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