question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
