It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
