can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
