i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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