and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
is it fun? or sober?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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