too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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