I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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