At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
