your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
