This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
