Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
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