I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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