YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
