Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
