No period for spring break; use this wisely.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
