I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's shark week go big or go home
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
