toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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