All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
