a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
