I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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