hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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