My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
