Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
