That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My first STD was from a foam party
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
