Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
