So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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