Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
