And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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