Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
